Top 10 Rules to Never Forget

By the Professional Asshole

1. Cops are Dumb. As Michael Malice, famous anarchist and general misfit, says:

“no matter where you go or what country you’re in, the cops are the dumbest people there.”



It’s the nature of government for them to be stupid. The government uses force, not any superior means of judgment. Government is stupid because it doesn’t have competition that forces bad decisions out. Police are governed by these same incentives. There is no incentive to be smart when you’re still paid if you’re dumb.

2. Never trust a government agent. This one might be a little tougher for people to understand. The state profits off of your violations of the law, not crimes. A crime requires a victim and ideally requires you to repay the person you wronged, not “society.”

If you’re paying back the victim, who presumably has paid taxes, where is government profiting on punishing that crime and collecting money? They aren’t. There’s no money in justice for the government. But there’s plenty of money in taxing things or making them illegal. That’s why 50% of arrests are for marijuana, and 50% of total police interactions are traffic violations. Victimless crimes have little risk and lots of pay off.

Because of this government agent’s incentives are the find violations of the law. And they’ll lie to you to make that happen, especially because government agents are allowed to lie to you, but damnit all if you lie to them. That’s obstruction of justice.

All government agents’ incentives will always be looking for ways to turn you in for money. Do you trust a friend when their economic incentive is to get rich by turning you in? It’s possible, but I sure wouldn’t.

3. Nationalism is bullshit. I’m specifically referring to the type of nationalism that King George III and John Adams agree upon when saying “it is every man’s duty to love his own country first.” Why? Because I was born here? Are the Somalis really supposed to believe their country is better than Switzerland? They sure don’t seem to believe that given net immigration between those countries. Such measurements are completely unquantifiable and therefore meaningless except as a bare assertion.

No country has a claim to be the best. And at the same time countries that are worse off should look to better countries as examples. Cutting off outsiders because “they’re a bunch of dirty whateverties” is just a good way of saying “I’m stupid.”

4. Never let a government agent into your home. Yes, that includes your cop brother. Government agents serve the government first and are everything else second. When the camps go up, and people are rounded up, there were plenty of families rent asunder by one son being an SS officer.

Notice how there aren’t a lot of movies out there about that SS officer who repented and saved his family and then was hung for it, but at least a few about turning in family member to get ahead. People choose their economic incentives 99% of the time. Are you willing to trust that your “buddy” is a part of the 1%?

5. Never let yourself be interned in any place that doesn’t let you have a gun. Normally this is called slavery. Do your best to avoid it.

If they let you have a gun, it’s not really an internment, now is it?

6. Never accept a debt without collateral valued at the debt amount, or the right to intern someone in place of the debt. Not for anything. 

Do people want to do business with you?  If they will gladly place their nuts in this vice it won’t be a problem.

7. Don’t do business with family.

Are you really going to put your cousin out on his ass for violating the above rules? I didn’t think so.

8. Entitled people are black holes of wealth creation. Wealth creation comes from working your ass off at one thing for a long time—refining, developing, and perfecting.

Entitled people don’t work. They want things given to them. They are drains. Cut them off. Starving is great character building.

9. Liberals are always wrong—always. That being said, I sympathize with a lot of the liberal issues like police abuse, systemic forced inequality, military interventionism and the like. But the real problem with liberalism is the nigh-universal belief in egalitarianism.

Egalitarianism as a Revolt Against Nature

Liberalism’s variants are really just debating who gets equality first and how much of it do they get. If you want perfect equality, you’re a communist. If you want imperfect equality you’re a social democrat of sorts. If you believe women get equality first, you’re a feminist. If you believe minorities should get equality first, you’re a Black Lives Matter/ affirmative action activist.

I don’t believe in equality. I believe in freedom. People aren’t equal. Some people are tall, attractive, smart, charismatic, holy, blessed, and wonderful. Some people are stupid, malicious, skeezy, short, fat, ugly, cursed, and unskilled. Life isn’t fair, and that really sucks. There is nothing I can do about that, but I’m not going to close my eyes and pretend the above statement is not true.

10. Most people shouldn’t vote. That probably includes you. Voting is generally governed by what’s called “rational ignorance.” Because you incrementally have so small a say in what you vote on it does not make sense for you to spend more than five minutes learning about these issues that strongly affect everyone, including yourself.

An analogous situation is how much time you take to learn about earthquakes. If one hits you, it is very painful, but there is nothing you can do to stop it or affect it other than protect yourself individually and hope that experts are taking their jobs seriously. So how much time do you spend every year reading on earthquakes every year? Probably none. And that makes complete sense. So focus on making more money so you can live in an earthquake proof building. Stop wasting your time voting and start making more money. When you’re rich, then your opinion matters.

For the history you didn’t learn in school, check out Liberty Classroom:

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