Soy Boys Versus The NFL

By the Professional Asshole

Destroying the last vestiges of masculinity has long been the goal of leftists. That’s because men are the leaders, and in a revolution, all the old leaders must go. Men must be demonized.

Men are the leaders of pretty much every productive system on the planet. Why? Because the number of women willing to work 80 hours a week from 14-64 without hardly a weekend off is miniscule compared to the number of men willing to do the same.

Recently the NFL has come under scrutiny, first for off-field player behavior, as if a game meant to simulate war would attract anything other than wife-beaters and murderers. Soon after, it was concussions. Punch Drunk has been a term for more than a century. I’m pretty sure everyone could guess brain damage was possible.

Let’s face it though, the left isn’t nearly as squeamish about violence as they pretend. They can’t wait to throw people in camps.

Now, the flag is the big issue. Let’s forget that before 2009 players were in the locker room for the national anthem. Continue reading “Soy Boys Versus The NFL”

Episode 50 – Planes, Trains and Automobiles (1:03:36)

We open the holiday travel season with the 20th anniversary of a John Hughes mid-80’s classic, “Planes, Trains and Automobiles” with our returning guest, the Professional Asshole.

We get into a very dated movie that could not be made today as most of the problems that arise have since been solved by technology.

Still, a kind of fun movie that may be worth a watch every few years.

Check out our guests previous appearance where we talked about “3:10 to Yuma” at:

Episode 37 – 3:10 to Yuma (1:14:53)

Continue reading “Episode 50 – Planes, Trains and Automobiles (1:03:36)”

Top 10 Rules to Never Forget

By the Professional Asshole

1. Cops are Dumb. As Michael Malice, famous anarchist and general misfit, says:

“no matter where you go or what country you’re in, the cops are the dumbest people there.”



It’s the nature of government for them to be stupid. The government uses force, not any superior means of judgment. Government is stupid because it doesn’t have competition that forces bad decisions out. Police are governed by these same incentives. There is no incentive to be smart when you’re still paid if you’re dumb.

2. Never trust a government agent. This one might be a little tougher for people to understand. The state profits off of your violations of the law, not crimes. A crime requires a victim and ideally requires you to repay the person you wronged, not “society.”

If you’re paying back the victim, who presumably has paid taxes, where is government profiting on punishing that crime and collecting money? They aren’t. There’s no money in justice for the government. But there’s plenty of money in taxing things or making them illegal. That’s why 50% of arrests are for marijuana, and 50% of total police interactions are traffic violations. Victimless crimes have little risk and lots of pay off.

Because of this government agent’s incentives are the find violations of the law. And they’ll lie to you to make that happen, especially because government agents are allowed to lie to you, but damnit all if you lie to them. That’s obstruction of justice.

All government agents’ incentives will always be looking for ways to turn you in for money. Do you trust a friend when their economic incentive is to get rich by turning you in? It’s possible, but I sure wouldn’t.

Continue reading “Top 10 Rules to Never Forget”

The 80’s Save Society

By The Professional Asshole

In the last 20 years society in the developed world has come down with an illness called feminism. This illness has basically taken to bucking 5,000 years of received wisdom—that the sexes are drastically different.

They are different psychologically, genetically, physically, athletically, economically, academically, and in every other conceivable category. One is not less morally or personally significant, only different.

This received wisdom is now called “sexism.”

I believe we, as libertarians, have a duty to society. A duty to recognize freedom of association and differing cultures, much in contradiction to the SJW, totalitarian left.

Before modern feminism much culture existed that is still available to us to persue and enjoy celebrating the world as it is, and not some genderless zhe/zhim/zher utopia where all distinctions are “racism.”

One of the most effective ways to do this is to have people watch old comedies. They are irreverent and demonstrative of reality (by making fun of it).

Take for example Police Academy: The opening line recognizes some people are too fat, dumb, or female to be cops (a point made repeatedly).

The fat and dumb seem to be standard now. Ideally, law enforcement should be fit enough to need limited force.

Continue reading “The 80’s Save Society”

Episode 37 – 3:10 to Yuma (1:14:53)

We race to the train station on 3:10 to Yuma, the Russell Crowe and Christian Bale morality western about outlaws and bandits. Special guest, Douglas Gregory of HQATL ( and writer at the Actual Anarchy site joins us for a spirited discussion.

The Google Description:

Outlaw Ben Wade (Russell Crowe) terrorizes 1800s Arizona, especially the Southern Railroad, until he is finally captured. Wade must be brought to trial, so Dan Evans (Christian Bale), the owner of a drought-stricken ranch, volunteers to escort him to the train. Along the trail, a grudging respect forms between the men, but danger looms at every turn, and the criminal’s men are in pursuit.

Who’s right, who’s wrong, who knows? by Actual Anarchy

Continue reading “Episode 37 – 3:10 to Yuma (1:14:53)”

Ozark: The Anti-Sitcom

By The Professional Asshole

I just started watching the show Ozark [on Netflix], and I love it! The premise is a money launderer for a Mexican cartel from Chicago is suddenly forced to make up for his partner’s pilfering. In a moment of brilliance, the money launderer comes up with a scheme to launder money through the Lake of the Ozarks (a St. Louis/Chicago summer lake spot in Missouri).

Jason Bateman, instead of being a comedian, is a somber, worried, straight-man who is much more brilliant than he initially lets on.

Laura Linney is the former spoiled upper-class housewife who has to become a useful accomplice for a change, and quick.

Both are excellent.

The show is the opposite of a sitcom, and possibly the next Breaking Bad.

Sitcoms have long been written and produced by the undermining powers of the Hollywood left. Usually in sitcoms, the dad is a selfish, boorish, moron, while the kids are snide, but otherwise brilliant, and humble while abiding their father’s stupidity and ruinous behavior. The wife is flawless, humble, self-effacing, and patient.

She’s a saint, while he a sinner. Continue reading “Ozark: The Anti-Sitcom”

The Big Short and Curlies

By The Professional Asshole

Auditing is bunkum.

Quoth the Yoda, “insane you are.”

No, really. The entire public auditing side of the accounting profession is wackadoodle.

Many libertarians are also disciples of the Austrian school of economics which teaches that central bank’s involvement in credit creation creates credit bubbles, fueling the boom and bust cycle. But, there is another major threat to financial markets that even many Austrians are not aware of: auditing.

Since the formation of the Securities and Exchange Commission (SEC) in 1933 publicly traded companies have been required to provide independently audited financial statements done by a CPA (Certified Public Accountant). Most public companies go with large accounting firms, like the Big-Four, or a large regional firm. They have internal auditors (usually non-CPA accountants) who do most of the accounting year-round for both management and eventual external auditing. But external auditing is required of financial statements for publicly traded companies. Auditors provide an opinion on the veracity and accuracy of financial statements which aid in investment decisions.

The company being audited is required, however, to pay for its own audit. This creates a perverse conflict of interest—the ones paid to be skeptical of a company (auditors) are being paid by their prospective enforcement subjects. How can auditors be skeptical of their paycheck? As Upton Sinclair said, “It is difficult to get a man to understand something, when his salary depends upon his not understanding it!” Big problem. Continue reading “The Big Short and Curlies”

Cops Always Lie, Even When They Don’t. Ask Tiger.

By the Professional Asshole

Normal people often chafe at libertarian’s condemnation of police. “They protect society from the bad guys, don’t you know?” “Don’t like Cops? Call a crack addict.” With such pithy statements, how could we possibly be right? Even if police have faults, they are necessary to society, so we can’t do without them. This is the normal defense of police, when it’s not “my brother/cousin/boyfriend is a cop. Is he a jerk?”

I’m not going to take the time to go over the many systematic faults of police officers (much higher domestic violence, divorce, drugs, alcohol, steroids, substances in general, and behavioral disorders, and that’s just the beginning) or the free-market alternatives to state-policing (see here, here, and here) that are dramatically superior. What I will address is one aspect of why the state naturally corrupts law enforcement.

The incentives for the state are always to benefit itself. No, duh, right? The individuals are there for themselves, and ultimately state agents want larger budgets and power to benefit themselves. It’s why state workers are much more likely to vote Democrat (excepting the defense sector for obvious reasons).

State agents aren’t more moral than anyone else. They are frequently less so.

But, aren’t most cops just trying to help people out? Doesn’t really matter. The incentive structures they face are the same as all state agencies—to maintain and increase their budget and try to bring in as much revenue (tax) as possible. It’s that simple. That’s why 50% of all police interactions are traffic incidences despite the overwhelming evidence that it does not change or improve traffic patterns. It’s cheap, easy revenue. It’s why when the Parks Service faces a budget cut they cut the Washington Monument or Yosemite, the most painful thing to cut, as opposed to the least painful/profitable thing to cut like a private firm does.

The state, as a monopoly, faces perverse incentives as a matter of course. It can do no other. Continue reading “Cops Always Lie, Even When They Don’t. Ask Tiger.”