Heading out in a short business trip and just went through security at a small regional airport. Only a handful of people were in the line so the TSA staff were taking their time to talk to everyone. I declined the Rape-y-scan machine and opted for the intimate caressing.
When I declined, the first agent started reading from a short script taped to the side of the door saying that the scanner is just like a giant cell phone, but with even less radiation. After her spiel, she again asked if I still want to decline.
I was instructed to follow a male agent who was pleasant enough, and he recited his “speech” about all the different things he was going to do to me. I didn’t follow most of the mumble, but it didn’t matter as I really don’t get any input into the transaction.
After he was done, I mentioned that he really had the speech down and inquired if it was rare that people opt out and get the Pat down. Surprisingly, he said many people still opt out and he does dozens of of these per day. That is certainly good news.
When I was told I was free to go, the first agent came back to assure me that the scanners were completely safe and that next time I should do it. I replied that I am not a fan of how these machines were mandated by the same guy who was selling them to the government. A YUGE conflict of interest and a prime example of crony capitalism at its finest.
She said that these are the “new” machines and not associated with that prior company. And also that these machines no longer have a TSA agent in the back room so the images are no longer able to be taken out of their system. Such an assurance…I feel so much safer now. Not. (I know, I know…1995 wants its joke back).
I disengaged with agent one by calling out to agent two to let him know that he owes me dinner.
He chuckled and said that we were “familiar with each other now”.
Freedom = Compliance
It’s the new math.