Soy Boys Versus The NFL

By the Professional Asshole


Destroying the last vestiges of masculinity has long been the goal of leftists. That’s because men are the leaders, and in a revolution, all the old leaders must go. Men must be demonized.

Men are the leaders of pretty much every productive system on the planet. Why? Because the number of women willing to work 80 hours a week from 14-64 without hardly a weekend off is miniscule compared to the number of men willing to do the same.

Recently the NFL has come under scrutiny, first for off-field player behavior, as if a game meant to simulate war would attract anything other than wife-beaters and murderers. Soon after, it was concussions. Punch Drunk has been a term for more than a century. I’m pretty sure everyone could guess brain damage was possible.

Let’s face it though, the left isn’t nearly as squeamish about violence as they pretend. They can’t wait to throw people in camps.

Now, the flag is the big issue. Let’s forget that before 2009 players were in the locker room for the national anthem.

The flag issue, I contend, is a leftist attempt to undermine the NFL by putting conservative’s hypocrisy about Patriotism Theatre to work on itself.

The NFL is a hyper-masculine, inherently anti-egalitarian organization. This grates the left who want an egalitarian society where everyone is treated like it’s kindergarten. We all get the same number of sprinkles, our butts are wiped for us, boo-boos are kissed, and hurt feelings are the only crime. These egalitarian systems are inherently unproductive because resources aren’t allocated to those best able to utilize them.

(Figure 1: how men can instantly desiccate a vagina)

The NFL spits in the face of all of that, where only the best win in brutal competition. The league is 70% African American. The IQ distribution in the NFL is more towards the quarterbacks, centers, and other team coordinators, and less to those who run really fast. Only a very elite athlete can succeed in the NFL. The average height in the NFL is 6’ 2”, meaning in the top 1%. Weight is similar. Strength even more so. The league has few gay players (whether from disinterest or incapacity I don’t care) and zero transgender players. The NFL has very few Asian players (mostly Polynesian). The few times they brought in a woman as a token, it was a complete embarrassment. If you get injured in the NFL, you’re out. There is no welfare in the NFL. It is brutal, highly competitive, relentless, unmerciful, and highly productive.

Consider Michael Sam, who contends he was cut for being gay. His combine stats were significantly below average for a player in the NFL, let alone the position he played in the NFL. His competition (below) are all faster, stronger, more agile, more athletic, and often smarter.

Michaels Sam’s Combine Results
Clay Matthews’
DeMarcus Ware’s
J.J. Watt’s

Sorry, Mike, but you just couldn’t cut it.

Men couldn’t care less about living in an egalitarian paradise, and when we act like we might, women vomit in disgust. Women expect dominant behavior out of men. They rank average looking men as ugly, and average earning men as losers. The 85th percentile or so is what women consider “average.” It’s the opposite with men. Below average women are “average” and average women are “above average.” This is why men run the world: no one treats us with kindness, fairness, or sympathy. The second we aren’t achieving, off to the glue factory!

Productive systems are harsh and unforgiving, and that’s the world men live in.

Egalitarianism as a Revolt Against Nature

So back to the flag. Conservatives are mostly men, and they love NFL. But because of the conservatism they are also socially shamed into worshipping skycloth. If they don’t, maybe they’re a communist, or worse, “un-American.” So, the issue of kneeling or standing during skycloth’s daily sacrifice got men to fight themselves on whether they were being more of a pussy for not watching NFL or not worshipping skycloth. The left couldn’t win in a fist-fight with men, so they got men to fight each other.

Screw their game! Instead of watch NFL, I encourage every man to be as stereotypically masculine as possible. Get your testosterone through the roof! Eat only toxically spicy food. Eat red meat. Join a flag football club and lift weights. Bang your wife harder and more frequently than you were before. Most importantly, start celebrating highly competitive, hierarchical systems of production. It’s the only way to beat the Soy Boys, and their indistinctly-genitaled harem.


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